Father's Day

As we all know, yesterday was Father's day, and me, the person who talks to my dad on the phone EVERYDAY, did NOT talk to my dad yesterday!?!?! I thought about it, but everytime I did, I was busy, or figured he was busy! What kind of daughter forgets to call her father on father's day; especially when I talk to him EVERYDAY!!! That type of daughter would be me. I feel really bad. You know, I have an older brother, and growing up he was IT!!! He could do not wrong and I could do know right! Everyone who knows my family, knows that! I was always in trouble, and always had to do the chores and always had to cook and stay home and help with things, while my brother on the other hand, did WHATEVER he wanted! I could care less, you know, he's my brother and I'm the sister. The girls, never get as much lein way! But thats fine! Well, my dad and I never argued, we just did not get along. I did not HATE my dad, but I disliked him VERY much. I was SO ready to grow up and move out. So ready to get away from him. Well, the first time I got the chance to do that, was when I was going to move to St. Charles with my aunt and uncle and get a job and go to college. I was so ready, had all my stuff packed and ready. Well, the weekend before, dad made me mad, and I went in my room and started cleaning , like I always did when I was mad. He came in there to give me something and I was upset and crying. He asked me what was wrong and I told him that I was tired of being treated the way I was being treated. He mumbled something and walked out! That UPSET me even more, that I had just upset my dad. Well, dad walked back in and said something, with tears running down his face and walked out again. I felt HORRIBLE. I was a HORRIBLE daughter. What kind of daughter would make her father cry; especially when the only other time I had EVER seen him cry was when my grandmother passed away. Well, I walked out to where he was and told him I was sorry and gave him a hug. . . it was sad. Well, in the pass three years my dad and I have gotten REALLY close. Before I got married, I spend a lot of the days at Jacob's house. Well, dad went by Jacob's house on his way home, so he would always stop by and see me; even though I would be home that night. It was great, we had a lot of conversations, if I ever needed help, dad would help me with whatever it was. When I got married, Jacob and I decided to move here to Paragould. We were living in Paragould, and I went back to Doniphan to get some stuff. I stopped by McDonald's and got some lunch for dad and I and took it to him at the sawmill. When I left, I cried almost all the way home. As I said earlier, Dad and I talk everyday. He has learned how to use yahoo messenger, so most nights we get on and talk and play some pool. He is even learning how to text message! :D It's great.

I've been pretty bored lately. With school being out and all. All I have to do anymore, is clean and sit around and think. And trust me, thinking is not good for me. I start listening to country music and I get all depressed and then there is no one around for me to talk to! Its horrible. Sometimes, I just want to sit here and cry, and sometimes I do! I have though about a job, but we are going on vacation soon so I would just have to quit anyways, cause once we get back I go back to work. I have also thought about going to the nursing home and volunteering to just sit with some of the people there that are lonely. I have thought seriously about it, but then I think about my grandpa. My grandpa passed away this year, and it's been hard. Whenever I see older people, it reminds me of him. And it's hard. I miss him so much and I wish he wasn't gone. But, that's out of my hands. I don't know what I'm going to do. I am taking a home study course, and that keeps me somewhat busy, but at the same time, I can't work on that ALL day!